The Enneagram has been one of the biggest tools of transformation in my lift. It has helped me grow closer to Jesus, learn more about my hidden motivations and bring them into the light, and become a more gracious, compassionate person to myself and everyone else around me. But where should you begin? I’ve compiled a list of the best resources that have helped me in my Enneagram journey.
Read MoreThere’s never been an easier or better time to publish your book. With the tools available today you can get your manuscript from draft to published paperback and ebook in literally a handful of clicks. I’m a successful self-published author (plus I used to run a publishing house) and I want you to have the benefits of my knowledge and research. We’ll cover everything from editing and design to preorders, ebooks, audiobooks and more.
Read MoreI’ve grown up with the mentality that every problem is solvable but I’ve been forced to reconsider my position. Does that offend you? I can promise you it’s been offensive to me! Over the last few months, I’ve sat and listened as many people have told me their stories. Some here in my own home, others over the internet, and still others abroad on my travels. Here’s what I’ve discovered: Some problems are not going to be solved in a way any of us find satisfactory. They’re either too big or too complex. There’s just no solution. So where does that leave us?
Read MoreA reader recently asked, “How do I draw closer to God, if I have a fear of him?” I was touched by the bravery and vulnerability it took to pose the question. Whatever the reasons for your fear of God, you deal with the issues and start drawing nearer to him, right now, today. Here’s my quick and painful guide for overcoming fear of God caused by traumas in your life.
Read MoreEvery other month, our church celebrates a Family Sunday where we keep the kids, youth and adults together all morning. If you’re from a liturgical/sacramental church, then this may sound very normal to you, but the rest of us are more accustomed to running separate programs for different age groups. There are some benefits to this approach but there are also a few significant drawbacks. Family Sundays help us address those issues and keep the entire church together as one. Here’s how we do it.
Read MoreThe journey of life is convoluted and often confusing. Sometimes we can see our desired destination right in front of us but the road we’re on takes us through deserts and the valleys before we get there. It’s that journey which forms us into people of greater stature, but our hearts can be hurt during the process. We might find ourselves asking, “God, do you even care?” But he does care, and in our hour of distress, he promises rescue.
Read MoreSome men are pigs. Some women are manipulators. It’s all too common to see ugly power being used by men over women, but it also happens from women to men, and from men to men and women to women, especially as relates to race. Whatever the direction and angle, toxic power is no power at all. It manifests the inner reality that we have no control over ourselves. True power looks very different: it looks like a person on their knees.
Read MoreThe gift of prophecy is a helpful, edifying tool for the church. When we hear God’s heart for us, expressed through another flesh & blood person, it can encourage us, inspire us, sharpen our focus and help us course-correct when necessary. Something many of us struggle with is what to believe when a promise does not come to pass. Did we hear things wrong? Did we mess something up? Has our sin blocked God’s blessing in our lives? I think there are 3 things to consider.
Read MoreDeconstruction is a valuable part of the renewing of our minds but no one wants to live in a construction zone. How do you raise your children in faith when you’re not even sure what you believe about God yourself anymore? Here are my 4 tips for discipling your kids while you’re deconstructing.
Read MoreWe recently entertained a bunch of 9-10 year old boys for my eldest son’s birthday party. We had planned to take them all to a virtual reality arcade and as we were loading everyone into our SUV I ran into a dilemma: one of the parents had dropped off a booster seat for their son. The problem was not that the other boys needed booster seats as well, but that only one did. How was I to get that booster seat installed without drawing attention to the fact that he was the only one who needed it, and risk the kid getting made fun of?
Read MoreAs you reach your 30s and beyond, three categories of people will emerge around you: those who have done a deep dive, those who have not done a deep dive, and those who can’t do a deep dive. The majority of people will fall into the middle category; they are neither driven enough to stick with something nor sufficiently wounded to be stuck. They’re just busy. And busy is tempting because it looks productive and normal. But busy people can’t do a deep dive.
Read MoreIn an ideal scenario, sex is a manifestation of loving commitment, but housework, children, jobs, miscarriages, emotional withdrawal and porn all keep us from celebrating sex as it can be. For those times when sex just isn’t practical or when we’re not in the headspace to connect, how can we turn our partners down while avoiding an emotional backlash?
Read MoreControlling access to certain privileges is one of the most useful tools for healthy parental discipline. By intentionally using things our kids want to help foster responsibility and delayed gratification, you can help your children develop resilience and self-regulation. This is very different from simply taking things away when our kids make us angry.
Read MoreI sat in my office chair clenching and unclenching my fists beneath the table. Breathe in. Breathe out. Be gracious. Take the heat. Don’t respond in like manner. Eventually I asked God, “ What on earth is going on here?” His response: “I have hardened Pharoah’s heart. It’s time go to.”
Read MoreMuch of our limited view of ourselves and our potential is due to the way we were disciplined as children and the bad theology underpinning it. To help parents raise their standard I’ve introduced the concept of un-discipline: parenting that is rooted in the self-sacrificial love of God. Here are 8 practical tips on how sacrificial parenting can be done on a day-to-day basis.
Read MoreIf you’ve ever lived away from established friends and family you’ll know the importance of intentionally making new friends and building warm, loving community. These kinds of relationships are special and unique but they don’t have to be rare. My good friend Melissa recently shared some tips for building community and I’m sharing them here with a few added thoughts of my own.
Read MoreThat’s not what the Bible says, but it’s what I’ve believed most of my life. Love your neighbour instead of yourself. I was the helper, I was the giver, the one who took care of others. But I began to resent myself and my emotional state began to yo-yo. Until I realized that loving myself was an act of worship to the creator, and that I was allowed to learn to love myself.
Read MoreWhat if my kid is loud and boisterous? What if my kid is emotional and standoffish? What if my kid is an annoying handful?
And what if nothing needs to change? I believe we can become the kind of parents who see the hidden, inner beauty of our children, and who choose to ignore the outer chaos. I’m not talking about letting a child hurt someone and just smiling about it. I am talking about present, strategic, engaged parenting that knows when to not sweat the small stuff, and when to dive in and help a little person become a big person on the inside.
Read MoreYour child storms off to their bedroom. You try and control your breathing. You’re both angry. You’re both back here again. But what if what you chose to do in this moment was the turning point for your relationship? What if you didn’t leave them alone for time-out, but joined them instead for time-in? What if your anger could be transformed into commitment to do whatever it takes to restore your child?
Read MoreThere are five languages of punishment that we naturally gravitate towards, each of which are uniquely damaging to the heart of a child. Rather than hold up a warning sign or place a healthy boundary marker, by punishing we exert power over a child, which wounds their heart. Thankfully, there are alternatives!
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