Love your neighbour, not yourself.

Love your neighbour, not yourself.

That’s not what the Bible says, but it’s what I’ve believed most of my life. Love your neighbour instead of yourself. I was the helper, I was the giver, the one who took care of others. But I began to resent myself and my emotional state began to yo-yo. Until I realized that loving myself was an act of worship to the creator, and that I was allowed to learn to love myself.

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When there's not enough love

When there's not enough love

Love covers a multitude of sins. If one of your relationships can't tolerate something that has happened, then there's not enough love in it. What are you to do when you discover this? I think we all have two options: toss the relationship, or invest in it. One of those options is going to cost us a lot more than the other.

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The one who abused you isn't your enemy

The one who abused you isn't your enemy

Your parents aren't the enemy. Your spouse isn't the enemy. That man who abused you isn't even the enemy. You and I all have only one enemy, and his name is Satan. He would like you focus your attention and aggression on everyone else. But he is our only enemy, and every single one of us is a victim of his violence and deceit. When we understand this we can begin to dismantle our walls and extend grace and forgiveness and mercy to everyone else who has been victimized.

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When you don't like who you married

When you don't like who you married

Many women I talk to tell me they married expecting a best friend, a confidant, a spiritual warrior, and a cuddle-bunny, all rolled into one. Many men I talk to tell me they were expecting a Godly but nymphomaniac sex vixen, the "righteous fox" promised by youth pastors, who would validate them at every turn and support all their crazy dreams. It seems that most of us were sold a bill of goods that didn't quite match up with our expectations. 

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Sailboats and Marriage and Self Sacrifice

Sailboats and Marriage and Self Sacrifice

My wife and I travel in different circles, and are usually headed in different directions. She is a natural planner and strategizer, I am naturally empathic and sensitive. I feel first, she plans first. I work in a Christian ministry, she works at a University. When we got married, I had no idea what my dreams were, what my life’s goals were, or what calling God had placed on my life (whether or not you believe in such things). When we got married, Maija was already working the plan for her life. We’re very different to one another. We’re best friends, we’re lovers, we’re mom and dad to the same kids, but in many ways we’re poles apart.

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How to Un-Discipline Your Kids

How to Un-Discipline Your Kids

While God has every right to punish us, he instead took the punishment upon his own self, scandalizing himself with the love that he has shown us. Why would he do this? Because our eternal purpose is to be loved by God. Since God has loved us, we can now reflect that to our children. Consequently, fully engaged intimacy with our children is the single most effective method of behavioural correction we will ever find. We can provide no better preparation for a life of loving God, than by setting this stage of intentional, loving, un-discipline. What our children need is to be honoured by us, to be served by us, to be 100% engaged by us.

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King David - Streaker, rapist, hero

King David - Streaker, rapist, hero

King David enjoys status higher than a lot of Christendom and Judaism's other heroes and figureheads. Even Jesus is called the Son of David. I've been thinking recently how much this exposes flaws in modern Western Christianity. Somehow, King David managed to be the only person in the Scriptures that God said was a man after his own heart. Countless books have been written about David, or following the model of David, or otherwise encouraging a Davidian element in our lives. Obviously he is venerated and held in hugely high regard. And yet, we know that in a moment of passionate love for his God, he ran naked and nude down the main street of town. We also know that in a moment of passionate lust, he raped a man's wife and then murdered her husband. Rock on!

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