#8: Does easy sex block your destiny? (with Rob Kowalski)
Rob Kowalski is a reformed bad boy, a former stripper and club promoter who fell in love with Jesus and was radically transformed. On the Puddcast we discussed how cheap sex can block you from reaching your destiny, and how to build a fulfilling community of friends while you wait for it.
"When two people have sex enough times, the oxytocin that is released in each person forms a strong bond. This is what causes a woman to attach to a man, and a man to become defensive and territorial over her. Hormones establish a soul tie. It’s a connection mechanism that God designed for a husband and wife to come together and to get them through the storms of life so the family wouldn’t break up, but what we do is treat sex like recreation. We become attached to people that we aren’t even in love with, people that we would likely never be relationally compatible with. We can’t make each deeply happy, so we drift through life, neither one of us reaching our purpose because each of us were made to do something completely different from the other. The attachment and misplaced sense of loyalty keeps us together and because we’re being kept together with someone based solely on attraction and not personality and character, we are kept from experiencing a richer more fulfilling life.
Resources:
Why Waiting Works, by Rob Kowalski
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Professor, author, speaker and all-around delightful person Heather Thompson Day is our guest on The Puddcast—something I’ve been hoping to make happen for 3 years. Dr. Heather is Associate Professor of Communication at Andrews University, and the author of 8 books; including her latest, I'll See You Tomorrow: Building Relational Resilience When You Want to Quit. Heather shared her perspective that all relationship is sacred, and that ministering the gospel is often as simple as reflecting people’s human dignity back to them. We reflected on living with delight and purpose, inside the mundane limits of our actual lives. Heather unpacked the myth of self-reliance and explained how not all relationships have to be strong, intimate ones to still have profound value and sacred impact. If you’re tired and have not much left to give right now, this one is for you.