untitled

I had wanted a chance to go off into the wilderness, literally. To be away from any other human being and fairwell myself before I got married, but things didn't work out that way. So... here I am.

My name is Jonathan Puddle. I'm the son of a man named Stephen. A creative man, a funny and talented man. A times a loud man, and at times a quiet man. At times a complicated man. But a man I've always been close with, always been friends with, and always will be.
I'm the son of a woman named Rhonda. A wise, caring woman. A woman who's patience I have never seen matched. A woman who has nurtured me, let me grow, let me marry and has always been behind me in everything I do. A woman who has not smothered me. I woman I am proud to kiss on the cheak.

I am also a son of the Most High God. The creator of the universe, the creator of live, of love. Of me. A God who created me, so that HE could love ME. A God so selfless... and the only one in existence who is worthy to proclaim his own name.

The man I have become is because of my parents upbringing. All three of them. ;)

I'm 19 years old. Some tell me I'm too young to marry... some tell me it's all good. All I know is that I have become accutely disinterested in the things many others in my generation are interested in. All I know is that I have goals and passions that differ from those of many in my generation. All I know is that I have found a woman that I am willing to lay my life down for. Yes, physically... I'd take a bullet, but more courageously, I'm willing to take one every day. I'm willing (and ready... as I'll ever be) to love this woman unconditionally. (Some days I don't remember what that means, but by Christ I'll try and remember.)

I'm going to lead us as a couple, as Christ leads the church. Some days that thought terrifies me. Some days I feel so small and insignifigant. But then I remember that in many ways I AM so small and insignifigant, but in some ways I am huge. In many ways I am signifigant.

In case you're lost... I'm sorry. I'm really writing to myself.

I've always been a why-not kinda guy. I've always done my best to take life by the horns. In 14 hours I'll be marrying the woman of my dreams. The woman who meets and exceeds every point on the list I made many years ago, of what I deemed a good wife for me would be. I can only hope that I will meet the points of what a good husband is. I think I will. I know that I'll give it my best. I know that if we fail at this relationship and divorce, it will be because we have not given it our all. My all is something I decided to give 6 months ago.

I've learnt a great many things since then. Things that I'm sure will be a good foundation to start a marriage on, and things that I'm sure are only scratching the surface of husbandly-knowledge. Things like, "If it's important to her, it must become important to me." Things like, "A happy wife is a happy life." Things like realizing that the quiet gentle love of a woman, even when I've been rude and unkind, is one of the most powerful forces in the universe.

As I said, I'm the son of my parents. Every part of me is because of them giving their all to raise 3 healthy God loving sons. The thought of being a parent blows my mind. The thought that in 9 months I could - within wedlock - be a father, blows my brains out like a shotgun.

And believe me, those things can blow brains the crap out.

What more do I have to say to myself?

Tomorrow Jonathan, you will marry the most beautiful woman you have ever seen, and will start your new life. You'll have the most amazing time you'll ever have, from now until eternity, and you'll share it all together.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be united to his wife and they shall become one flesh. They are no longer two, but one.

Fairwell old friend, may you fair very well.

This is Jonathan Puddle, the bachelor, signing off.