I'm quite impressed with Sarah's comment. Go and read it, on the post after this one.
She makes the point that, yes, we should be taking everything from God first, but that God also gives us friends to help in the process. I agree, and I suspected someone would point that out. I talked with a few people tonight and have gained perhaps a more balanced insight.
One man with the same initials as I talked a lot about storge love. He said women are made to be more affectionate, because that is the side of God that they represent. John Eldredge talks a lot about that exact same thing in Wild at Heart. That men are built to represent the wildness and the strength of God, while women are made to represent the love and the kindness and caring side of God.
(As a side note, this is one of the reasons that I believe homosexual marriage to be fundamentally flawed. You don't need to get all Biblical about it, it's pure and simple, God made a man, and matched him with a woman.)
Anyway, I realise that I need to be careful in what I say on this topic. I don't want to give the idea that I think girls should not be affectionate. I just think that there is a healthy balance that is being overlooked. I definitely think that guys still have a lot to learn about love and affection.
On the flip side though, if I am learning about love and affection, to love and be affectionate with my future wife, I want my future wife to be wild and strong with me. I don't mean that in a sexual way, though I don't mean it in a non sexual way either. I mean in life in general. I want to be wild and strong, I want to lead her places spiritually and physically that she would be afraid to go on her own, but I want her to know enough about wildness that she'll follow me anyway.
Tit for tat, I think.
And to be honest, I think both those things are happening in my relationship with Maija. I'm definitely more affectionate with others than I would be without being with Maija. It's counteracted a little bit by the pain and frustration of my parents separating, but still. I'm much more huggy with mum, and take more notice of my brothers, because of the caring nurturing spirit that rubs off from Maija. I can't really speak for Maija, but I can see many things about her that have changed for the better, since we have been together. Things that she has taken pretty seriously, like University. I asked her to wait till September being starting her last year of Uni (for various reasons), and after initial refusal, she changed her schedule. That kind of thing blew me away, that she was already following my advice, and letting me lead, when she really doesn't have a big obligation to do so.
That's all for now. More to come later.